We No Speak Americano

Just to clear this up for anyone who believes Rick Steves when he tells you that 'everyone in Europe speaks English'...he's a lying liar who lies.  Yes, if you are staying in $300 a night hotel rooms, like Rick does, the concierge does, in fact, speak English.  I can assure you that, if you are trying to avoid the tourist traps and live like a local, not everyone has decided to learn two or three extra languages.  This is especially true of communist-era cashiers, bureaucrats, and anyone who works in or near a bus and/or train. 

Although today, I did get scolded by a young woman for not telling me that I wasn't Slovene, at the local children's festival.  She gave me a long account of how E could paint a picture, based on a Toulouse-Lautrec painting, and if it was chosen, it would be displayed in a local art gallery..  I nodded politely, because I have this idea that I am in their country, and shouldn't expect everyone to cater to me, because after all, I am the freaking visitor.  Naturally, she spoke perfect English.  Sigh.  

Here is the award winner:

If you’re in the Pacific Northwest, I have incredible news for you…it does not rain non-stop everywhere in the world.  I I know, right?  It’s in the 80s and sunny.  I feel like I’ve finally eliminated the vitamin D deficiency I’ve been harboring.  In fact, I may even have a TAN. 

This is what I had to contend with today:

And somebody had to sit on that couch, under that tree, by that river, and eat ice cream, and dammit, it was me.  

Oh, and yes please:

No, I did not steal the Absolut bottles from the bar.  Did you know that Ljubljana was voted the most honest city in the world?  Well, when in Rome, blah blah blah.

I settled for this, because this an addiction with an international following, obviously:

And with that, I am off to collect my laundry, which is drying on the patio.  They have washers, not dryers, but that's cool, clean laundry is good laundry.
I have been in North America too long.  I heard what I thought were gunshots.  Instead, it was pretty, pretty fireworks.  I forgot because most governments tell us that we're too stupid to use those.